Not a Guest Blog: The Virtue of Kindness

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for reading this blog! If you enjoy the posts, please share with a friend or on your social media (I don’t believe I’ve asked this of you for years—I’ll try not to bother you again for a long time 😊.

Sharing would be very kind of you.

See what I did there?

Regensburg Cathedral

I didn’t plan it. Now, to get started with the actual blog (by the way, the photo is from my European vacation--in Regensburg, Germanywe chanced upon a celebration of the Teutonic Knights, a Catholic charitable organization--it made me happy to see so many people involved in a group that establishes hospitals and more).

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV): “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I am a psychology professor for my day job. One of the tasks I needed to do to receive a PhD was write a dissertation. A dissertation involves conducting a study (in my case, two studies because I may be a bit of an overachiever). Then, you write a book about the study and defend the whole thing in front of a committee of professors. Fun story—I defended my dissertation while eight months pregnant and they were very nice to me. Just saying.

My dissertation topic was the impact of parenting and empathy on volunteerism. To my mind, volunteering is one of the best ways to be kind. My sample consisted of people on the official rolls of Topeka, Kansas’ United Way and Red Cross. An aside—why Kansas? Because I followed my husband who was stationed at Ft. Riley, Kansas.

“But the fruit of the Spirit if love, joy, pace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

So, what predicts whether someone will be a volunteer? First, if your parents do anything, you are also more likely to do the same (not guaranteed, nothing is guaranteed). Second, if you have a faith that is internalized—part of your identity and important to you—then you are more likely to volunteer. Third, if you score high on empathy but low on empathy avoidance (a concept I originated which equates to people who get too upset and try to avoid sad movies, hospitals, etc.), you are also more likely to volunteer. Finally, having parents who discipline with firmness and love are more likely to have children who grow up to be volunteers.

Volunteering is only one way we might be kind to others.

Galatians 6:10 “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

In everyday life, we can, of course, be kind to family and friends, neighbors and strangers. The trick for me is, to remember or even think about it at all.

So, like everything, the best way to make something happen is to plan ahead. Or make it a routine. I sign up to cook for church fellowship once a month (with the notable exception of last month when I was gone). I take three items to the blessing box at church every week. I also try to message my kids every day and hug my husband every time I see him after we’ve been apart.

Whoa…I may sound like I’m bragging so I’ll stop. The point is that I make these things regular parts of my life, so I’ll actually do them.

Of course, kindness should also be spontaneous—I’m always working on me.

What are some ways people have been kind to you (I thought that would feel more comfortable than asking about what you do, made me feel weird to even list a few)?

Please share below!