Not a Guest Blog: The Virtue of Patience

Dear Readers, God bless you. Thank you for reading this blog and all your support. My day job is keeping me so busy that I find little time to write, and I find this blog is a lifeline to my writing. Thank you!

So, patience. The virtue all of us need but definitely don't want to go through the practice and testing needed to develop. Three weeks ago to the day, the Lord (or according to the internet, the cat distribution system) gave us a kitten. She literally appeared on our front porch--we don't know from where or how. We live on the end of a cul-de-sac in a suburb with swamp and a lake behind us so...no idea.

I'm assuming she's a she because she's a tortoiseshell (as you can see). We haven't given it a name yet because we're not sure of the gender and we've been burned before (called our other cat Bella for months only to find out she was a he).

At first, she wouldn't eat unless I left the area. But, bit by bit, she almost touched my hand today. Yesterday, though, my husband got frustrated when she ran away at his approach. He said he didn't have any patience. I told him to leave it to me. In this case, I do have patience. In other cases, not so much.

Romans 12:12: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

So, what does psychology have to say about being patient? Not much.

Instead, a British researcher talks about patience being a coping strategy, not a virtue (Sweeny, 2025). She argues that impatience is just like any other emotion, and patience is a way to regulate that emotion. The research is a little iffy to me in that they set up scenarios, measure some personality traits, and then say patience is related to personality traits like agreeableness, not a virtue.

Sorry, but that makes me angry. Personality is not set in stone. We can grow and change. We can decide to become more patient or even more agreeable.

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the lord and wait patiently for him."

Patience is not just for short-term annoyances. It is a way of life--and this is the one I struggle with--it's trusting that Lord will help your child find a life partner after being alone for years, it's trusting that God will bring healing, or at least endurance, in the face of a chronic illness. Being able to be patient, waiting on God, in this case, is most definitely a virtue.

Galatians 6:9: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Schnitker, at the Yale Center for Faith & Culture, on the other hand, embraces both psychology and theology. She connects patience and gratitude, something I'll talk about later (gratitude, that is).

She has a three-step process that perhaps leads to more of this less-valued virtue: Pay attention to what you're feeling (aggravated with that long line at the DMV?), Think differently *this is one I highly value--can you find a different way of thinking about whatever it is?, and change your stressing to a blessing.

Now, back to kitty (admittedly not a high-stress situation, but like anything, it's best to practice in mild situations), I'm a little bit frustrated that I can't bring her inside and take her to the vet to make sure she isn't going to pass along an illness to our other cat.

Think differently (often called cognitive reappraisal)...one that has really worked for me...somebody cuts me off in traffic? I pray that they don't get in an accident. I think to myself that they must have somewhere very important to go.

Or, I just let it go.

It's easier to be patient if you aren't frustrated in the first place.

I'm sitting on the porch, enjoying the beautiful weather, taking a breath. It's okay if baby kitty is the reason I'm taking a break.

God put her there on that porch for a reason.

2 Peter 3:9: "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise...Instead he is patient with you..."